Departed trail & Bitter trials.

Eng.24 2016

I didn’t think I would have to deal with it, but here we met in ASB. 

A woman, no matter her age, was practically a blues musician singing a song so familiar to this Mexican.

Truth is I don’t know what I am when the sun is so far away and the moon is the only 1 left to lie to me.

As an adult, I have an anniversary of nightmares, a reunion of traumas, chips to cash,

And I would rather take a shot for tetanus then hear a song bird sing about no dollar bills or pennies

to pay her rent. My heart, an old AP forced under her needle just to show that cheap gold  has a nice tune in its lines of rusty green.

I used to be a former this and that; I drank my thoughts, shot my feelings,

and popped everything numb in search for resolve, I wonder if god will forgive.

No one knows this but can you forget it and be the only one of us who is free of sin.

 If I call my 5 year chip, you would think my 20^th bottle was a mic and what will you hear me sing.

The only songs kids sing with soul is for god but here is a grown women singing for homelessness,

there is so much soul a child would explode, and met death.

This woman left me a heartbroken mess, but we never dated or met, so its strange for me.

Her struggle was too real, too at home, too potent for my blood to bleed, she is me.

I’m surprised I didn’t catch an STD from all the hotels I changed beds with.

Cross fit couldn’t get me to sweet as much as I did when I heard my own shadow talk.

Fronting like a fiend just to keep my truths hidden under lies, in a way I’m a perfect politician. 

I saw what a crystal diet did at 10, when I used to live next to half dead hookers in their teens

I can feel my chest skip, hiccup, and drag harder than a special toke from my Vape pen.

I was very superstition and greedy, my 10^th birthday wish was for 3 more, just to be sure god heard me,

I guess I should’ve looked for a better genie.

3 times I wished for a home but god had a budget so I lived in a 5 dollar hotel for six months

with 3 sisters, 2 brothers, and one woman working to be tired than to be happy, that’s love.

When it gets cold I can’t help but remember when I was 10 contemplating a grasshopper for a meal.

When life is too long, achievements don’t matter but the overcoming of struggles, taken like vitamin pills.

I haven’t learned to fix this record and I hope there is a chance to fix it.

I’m not like those rolling days, I’m not a drunk, I’m not lethal, I’m not in that place, I am here.

I am here. I am no longer homeless……  I AM HERE!

…… And this is what happened when I sat in ASB.